Today is feeling really positive. I have picked up nurturing happiness again and used it as the platform for my year to find more joy posts. It feels good to build on something existing, rather than start something new and isolated.
After listening to Claire, over at The girls mean business, I feel like I have a clearer vision for my blog. She spoke about being a heart on your sleeve blogger. The type that shares everything, the good and the bad. She showed examples of how others do this, while still mixing in the how to and helpful articles.
It helped me to release that I have a tenancy to only write when I’m feeling overwhelmed or that I have something I need to figure out. When I need to let go of old emotions. I wonder if this gives my blog a slightly negative feeling at times. So I’ve decided to start putting in a few more articles on practical steps my readers can take to finding more joy. I would like the focus on my site, to be helping others and there’s many ways I can explore this.
Feeling wrong about being happy
There’s something about feeling happy, that almost feels wrong at times. Like we don’t share in our own joys, through the fears of who we will upset. I had a big break through last month when I realised this. I have for so many years, been living on a seesaw. That I have been fearful over my own joy, because subconsciously I believe that it comes at the expensive of someone else. This isn’t logical or helpful but beliefs often aren’t. The insight however, has helped me to step off the seesaw and to accept that I am not responsible for other people’s happiness.
I’m also aware of how little we often don’t take delight in our accomplishments. That the little voice of criticism comes into play. When we take steady steps towards our goals and we start seeing results. Rather than feeling proud, we are quick to judge ourselves. That we haven’t done enough, or it could have been better. That no one will like it. It’s no wonder that’s it is often easier to give up, then to continue on.
It may be uncomfortable at times, but feeling and accepting our joy is our birthright. It is within all of us and we all have the ability to access it. So when you try hard at something or do something well, own your feelings of being proud. Those feelings of being bad, those are what someone else taught us to believe. Thank them for sharing and let them go. You are magnificent and you deserve to feel and know it.
My boat renovations are coming along nicely and I’m hopeful that very soon, I will have a space to call my own. It’s been a long 4 months of working on things, one by one. As the sun shines brighter each day, so does my joy. The end is coming into sight and I can begin on the outside tasks, enjoying the canal as it returns to life.